So This Is The New Year...

And I don't feel any different... My Death Cab for Cutie friends will recognize the reference. But it's so true. What's so amazing about December 31st???? Why is it that we only celebrate the new YEAR? Why not the new month? 5...4...3...2...1... happy new week!!!! Or hell, every day? It's MONDAY!!!! Woooooohooooo not sunday anymore!!!! I guess the thing that makes us all stick to our ritualistic New Years habits is hope. Hope that the next 365 days will give us an opportunity to change. An opportunity to change our ways and make something better of ourselves. "My new years resolution is to lose weight" "To get in better shape" "Quit smoking" "Work harder, get a promotion" "be a better person" etc etc etc.... Does it ever really add up to anything? No. If you succeed, good for you, but why did it take a numerical year change to get you to this point? If you fail, who cares? No one really sticks to their new years resolutions. Right? I mean, what's the big deal? It's just a minor transition, and yet we celebrate like it's the start of a new millienium or something. We drink in excess, we set off fireworks, we throw parties...

The fact that New Years falls so close to Christmas probably makes a big difference. People are out of work, kids are out of school, People are looking for something else to celebrate--something that doesn't involve family and religion. I suppose people feel like they're allowed to go overboard because they know they're not hurting anyone else. For me, it means a party. A gathering of people determined to get drunk and go a little crazy without others judging them... Whatever. I'm still sitting on my couch all alone, drinking Champagne and writing to a crowd I will never meet. Part journal, part confessional. I don't even care if people read this, I just enjoy purging my soul and hoping that someone else will see it and feel a connection to me.

My cat is a better roommate than I am. He loves me enough that he watched the Peach Drop from my lap and even cuddled with Sully (who he is terrified of) to celebrate. Maybe if I can get in his head and see things as simply as my cat does, I'll be able to get back to the true meaning of life. Who cares if things go exactly as I planned.... as long as they're GOING, I win at life. I'm still living, I'm still experiencing new things and learning new things... THAT should be everyone's new years resolution. To start appreciating life as it is. No "what if" or "if only" or "one day." Just TODAY and THIS MOMENT. It's a powerful thing.

Who am I kidding? I'm almost done with my first of 2 bottles of champage.... this is all just drunken rambling. But life is beautiful, no matter what happens. As long as you're still existing... you're with me and every other living person on this earth. There is a connection between the living creatures on this planet... we're all here, sharing this space, and trying our hardest to be happy or to make others happy or both, and we have to embrace every second that we're here, because in the grand scheme of things, how much does it really matter what you wear, or who you're friends with, or what others think of you??? You're breathing, and you're existing and it's YOUR LIFE!!!! You choose everything... your choices determine everything. Yeah, it's kinda scary, but its awesome, too. You have more power than you know. Live it up.

Ok, that's it. I'm done. I'm too intoxicated to spout out anything of interest. But I'm here, and I'm alive, and I'm happy for that fact, if nothing else.

Be happy. To quote P!nk... "pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel like you're less than fucking perfect." If you're breathing, you're perfect. And I love you.

:)