Pillows

I have an amazing pillow. It has a super soft white pillowcase and it’s a down pillow and it is my favorite thing ever. There is nothing more perfect than sinking my tired head into my pillow at the end of the day. It is truly the perfect sleeping accessory. I’m seriously considering making a religion: worshiping the pillow of all pillows. Maybe I can make a holiday… Fluffy Awesome Pillow Day and we can all have pillow fights and take naps and eat marshmallows which look like tiny pillows… how great would that be? But I digress. I have a pillow. But I didn't always have this pillow. I had to steal it from Sully.

When Sully and I first started living together, we did the typical new couples thing where we wove our arms and legs together into an impossible pretzel shape and claimed to be comfortable while in this unnatural position… ha. As we relearned how to use our brains and stopped sleeping in the pretzel, we slowly staked our claims on the bed. After a few months of “no honey, you can have the blanket” and “no no no dear, I’ll just use the sheet, it’s ok I promise!” things started to turn into “um can you please scoot over? I’m pressed against the wall here...” And “you’re hogging the blankets.” Eventually, we made a compromise. 2 blankets so we didn’t have to share the covers, and as for divvying up the nocturnal real estate… I got a larger portion of the head-side of the bed because I typically sleep like a cannon ball, and Sully’s long legs won him a generous portion of the foot-side of the bed. So it kinda looked like this:

Now, as you can see, Sully gets a substantially larger portion of bed than I do. In my mind, this entitles me to the best pillow and blanket. This makes sense, right? Sully didn't agree with this at first. He was all like “it’s my stuff, you have two pillows of your own, how come you want mine?” and then I was all “but your pillow has fluffy feathers in it!!!” This resolved nothing, so for a while, my strategy was to just go to bed before him, because only a truly evil person would steal a sleeping girl’s pillow.

By the time we moved to our lovely Blue Apartment, I had a firm claim on my pillow. But the first time we washed our sheets in the new place, we had the debate all over again.

Me: No, the white pillowcase goes on my pillow. The black one goes on yours.

Sully: What difference does it make?

Me: Because the white pillowcase is softer, and it goes well with the squishy pillow.

Sully: Whatever *throws pillow on bed*

Me: No. That one goes on my side.

Sully: Why?

Me: Because its my pillow! It’s squishy and I love it. You get the big pillow.

Sully: What if I want the squishy one?

Me: *evil glare*

Sully: (he’s all whiny because he knows I’m going to win) But I bought it… that makes it mine.

Me: Not anymore. You get the big one. You said you liked it anyway. So there.

Sully: *pout*

It was a close call. Ever since then, I have guarded my amazing pillow with my life. I just know that if he ever gets the opportunity, he will steal it and drool on it and make it smell like icky boy and then I’ll cry for days and he’ll think I’m insane and he’ll run away and I’ll be all alone with my smelly pillow… so it’s just best that the pillow STAYS ON MY SIDE OF THE FUCKING BED, ok? :)