Did I sit by Marshall in this class? Or was it Amy? I sat over in that seat for homeroom, but where did I sit for this class???
When I finally sat down, I started smiling to myself.
Those two are married now, but they barely even know each other's names right now! Oh, wow, she's so skinny again... Ha! Steven.... oh the fun we will have in another year or so...
Everyone seemed so young and fresh and naive, even though I remember how intimidated I used to be by all of them. The boy a few rows back from me used to make my life hell, but all I could see was his acne and poor fashion sense. The girl on my left was my first friend in that school, but I haven't spoken to her since graduation.... it went on and on as my eyes went to each person in the room and conjured up some dusty old memory of them. It all seemed so long ago to 2011 me, but it was happening right now. Trippy. The bell rang and we changed classes.
Now it was senior year, and I was standing in the art classroom, trying to remember where I sat. I looked over and saw Lexi, the girl who was the dearest friend I ever had, and I miss her so much every day. We became friends senior year and stayed close through college, and I when I moved down to Florida for a summer, she went with me and we had the most incredible summer of our lives. Sadly, boys, money and typical girl drama bullshit ended the friendship, but I wish more than anything I could have her back in my life... But I digress.
So I see Lexi sitting there, and I go over and sit across from her. She leans across the table and whispers "is this where we sat back then? I can't remember...." I realized that she must be time travelling too, so I whisper back "yeah, right here. This is the class we met each other in, remember? And then we have to sit at Lunch together and talk about the Amanda and Brittany crap, and that's how we become best friends!"
The whispered conversation continued, and we were both keenly aware that we weren't staying in the past for long, so anything we did had to be exactly the way it was done in 2006, or else we'd wake up and our lives would be totally fucked up. Kind of like that Butterfly Effect movie. We talked on and on about what exactly had to happen, and then everything fizzled away.
That was really all there was to the dream. When I woke up, I was so overwhelmed by everything I'd just seen and felt. Mostly just amusement , but in the very front of my mind was my longing for the friendship I had lost. I didn't realize how much she meant to me until that dream, which is sad, because it's been almost 2 years since we called each other "best friend." She was my sister, my other half, my puzzle piece. We cried on each other's shoulders after breakups and laughed at crazy stupid TV shows and texted all day and got drunk together and got high together for the first time and she was literally the first person I told when I lost my "v-card" in high school.
The really sad part about this story is that its probably too late to even partially mend things, let alone get back that friendship we used to have. We talk every once in a while these days, but she lives hundreds of miles away now, and we both have very full lives.
I haven't had a friend like that since Lexi. I have friends, some of which I'm very close to, but she was my sister. There's no other way to say it. We weren't just besties, we shared a brain.
I miss her.
"it looks like a damn tostada on your head!"
"can i have your numba?"
"se-curity"
"WHY don't you love me ANYMORE?!"
"don't be mean to KAIT!"
"This time we're not giving up. Let's make this last forever. Singing Hallelujah, we'll make it last forever!"
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