Another crazy waiting story...

I can't make this stuff up, folks.

"Lady Gaga" we'll call her. She was in her mid-late thirties with blonde hair in a messy pony tail, a very tight, very short zebra print skirt, a very tight, low cut black top, knee-high boots with 2 inch heels. This woman was absolutely insane. She sat down at my table alone at a little after 11 (opening). She was in the back room of the restaurant, and no one else was sitting back there yet. Things started off fine, with a glass of ice water and her request for a few more minutes with the menu. I didn't think much of her, she was fiddling with her Blackberry and her expensive-looking purse when I dropped her water off, but when I went back to the table, the crazy had emerged.

She asked some totally random menu questions about things we didn't even serve, and was rude when I misheard something she asked, responding with an icy "that sounds nothing like what I said, why would I ask that?" Her attitude was sarcastic but also just polite enough that I couldn't say she was out of line. She had a way of staring at me after an incredibly vague answer, making me feel awkward and confused.

She was so beyond normal, I didn't know what to do with her. I tried to ignore her as much as I could, but she made this impossible. She finally settled on eggplant parm, salad and bread. I brought the salad to the table and wandered off to finish a conversation with a coworker. As is the standard, I returned about 5 minutes later to check on her.

"I don't mean to complain, the food is excellent, but um.... could you bring me some warm bread?" This was nothing too crazy, some people prefer super hot bread, her request was not the first of its kind, so I oblige without a second thought. As I'm returning with the warmer bread, her eggplant parm has finished cooking and another server had taken it out to the table, only a few steps ahead of me, so she's standing at the table with the food as I'm walking up. Crazy lady proceeds to complain about literally everything, her drink, her salad, her bread, the food all at once to both of us. The other server and I exchanged looks, then took all of crazy woman's dishes away from her and returned to the kitchen, rolling our eyes. I tracked down a manager and sent him over with a fresh water, but the crazy woman said nothing of her complaints to him. By the time I managed to satisfy her culinary needs, I had been sat with another table. I checked on the crazy woman a few times as I passed back and forth to the new customers, and her responses were just... I mean just really weird.

"Is there anything I can get for you?"

"The food is excellent."

"....o....kay......"

(this one was my favorite)

"I see your napkin is on your plate, are you through? Would you like any dessert today or just the check?"

"what?"

"Um... are you done eating? Would you like--
"I'm just waiting on you, sweetie. You can bring me the check whenever you like." I can't describe to you what she was like, unless you can understand what "Luna Lovegood with a bitch streak a mile wide" would be. She said the most routine things with such hostility, but she didn't seem angry with me, just mildly dazed and patient. It was the most confusing thing ever.

When I dropped off her check, I also grabbed some dishes from my other table. When I walked back by, she had the check presenter open and was studying the bill inside.

"Are you going to be my cashier today?" (with that bitchy Luna smile)

"Yes, Ma'am." (I live in Georgia, don't hate)

She then fumbled in her wallet and so I waited, assuming she wanted me to hurry up and accept her payment right then, but this turned out to be a mistake when she glared at me with the most furious expression. I jumped, then hurried away. I was shocked by her anger; there was no cause for it. I'm telling you, this was no mildly irritated glance, this was a go-to-hell, mouth open, brow furrowed, chin extended kind of look.... I half expected her to snarl.

I screwed up her change because I was so flustered, counting a one dollar bill as a five, shorting her $5. She took the bill and the money to the manager, and he hunted me down, heard out my explanation, and accompanied me to rectify the honest mistake. I owed her $10.90, and instead of going and breaking a dollar down to ninety cents, I just gave her the two fives and the whole dollar and walked quickly away to return to whatever I had been doing, leaving the manager to deal with the crazy. He later told me that the woman "looked really pissed" that I gave her a dollar instead of change. I told you, she was crazy. However, she left me 2 bucks on $9.10... that's not a bad tip at all.

She left me a tip! If crazy people can leave 20%, so can YOU, America!!!

Don't Mess with Geek Squad

Some butt hole stole my brand new phone.... yes the very same phone I was gushing about a few posts ago. It was stolen out of the women's restroom at my place of work within a 5-10 minute time period. I went to the bathroom, sent my boyfriend a text, set the phone on the shelf above the toilet paper holder and left it when I went back to work. I went back after I realized it wasn't in my pocket and it had vanished.

After confirming that no one had turned it in and a few minutes of panic, I called Jake and told him what happened. I then had to finish my shift, which took about an hour. I came home at 10:15pm frustrated and helpless. What could I do? The person who took it deserved to be punched in the head, but I had no idea who she was. I was angry enough to throw a full fledged hissy fit, but I had no one to scream at. I know it's just a phone, but it's the principal of the thing! Don't steal from people! Most certainly not from people who can't afford to replace what you take! You're a bad person, Ms. Phone Stealer. Ok, now that that's out of my system, here's the fun part.

My very very smartphone has gps capabilities. And the very very smart people at Google have invented this fun, free app called Latitude. You and your other smartphone carrying friends can view each other's location on Google Maps, accurate to within a few yards. My very very smart Geek Squad boyfriend, Jake, has an iPhone... and he immediately knew what to do when I called him. He logged on to latitude and starting watching the blue dot on the map that indicated my phone's location.

He watched the dot on the map sit in the restaurant's location for about 2 hours. I had only been home for about ten minutes when the dot moved at 10:30pm. It was now hovering over a shady part of town, which is no surprise. It moved again to a vague spot on a road still in town. Then it moved to rest on an apartment complex about 10 minutes away from us, where it stayed for a while.

I was just angry enough to go around knocking on doors at 11pm, but since that wasn't the best idea in this particular apartment complex, we called the police department and they sent an officer over to discuss our options. He told us that there was nothing he could do, since we didn't know what apartment it was in, and suggested we take our story to the detectives, who are allowed to lurk about and ask questions. Although they wouldn't be back on duty until 8am the next day.

The signal from my gps didn't update again, but it stayed in one spot long enough for the detectives I spoke to the next morning to seem very interested. I guess cops like taking cases where most of the work is done for them. At a bright and squirelly 10am I walked into the Police Station and gave every piece of information I had to 2 detectives, one of which (coincidentally enough) works security at Ms. Phone Stealer's apartment complex. He didn't seem too familiar with the building indicated by the gps, but he said he had enough to go on. Fingers crossed and hopes high, I left the Police Station and tried to think positive thoughts. I was leaving the mystery up to more capable people than myself.

I dropped by Best Buy to update Jake on what had happened, and told him to keep an eye on his phone, because I had given his phone number to the detectives. I then dropped by the restaurant I work at and told the manager there (who hadn't yet heard about the previous night's drama) what had happened and gave him Jake's phone number in case someone brought my phone back. Restless and anxious, I returned home to read some 1984 for my other blog, but ended up taking a nap, since I only slept for 3 hours the night before.

I started awake at the sound of someone knocking forcefully on the door. I opened it to find Jake, smiling and smug, obviously too flustered to bother digging out his keys. As soon as he saw me, he said

"Get your purse, they've got your phone at [my place of work]."

I was shocked and excited, and as I rushed to put shoes on, I got the story out of him.

"They called me at 4:oo and said that the phone's location had been updated, and it showed up at the restaurant. The detective called the managers and discovered that an employee had turned it in, saying she found it in the one-room employee bathroom (a lie) and that she had intended to turn it in the night before, but never got a chance (another lie)."

In fact, I had seen this girl walking in to the bathroom as I walked out after leaving my phone, and she was the first person I asked when I realized it was missing. She lied to my face twice when I asked if she had seen it or if she saw anyone take it. I was surprised to find out it was a coworker, and pretty bummed that I would now have to press charges against someone I know, but I was no less angry at her.

Jake and I met the detective in front of our apartment complex office and he gave me my phone and explained how they found it. She had, in fact, taken the phone back to work to turn in (probably because she couldn't figure out how to use it), but after lying to the managers and the police, AND taking my 16gb micro sd card (with all 10,000 pictures of my cats and my progress on Angry Birds, fml), I have no sympathy for her. She had multiple opportunities to fess up and avoid serious trouble, but she missed her chance.

I am so incredibly relieved to have my phone back. Thanks to Jake's quick thinking geekiness, my dear smartphone is once again in my possession. And you can bet your butt that I won't be leaving it anywhere but my hand, purse or apartment for the rest of its life.

Hooray for happy endings!!!!

The Library

I love going to the Library. It's the best. Everyone there is so friendly, it's quiet, and it's filled with books!! I love to wander among the shelves filled with dusty old books and find the oldest, most beat up copy of the book I'm looking for. Old books are the best. Especially really old hardbacks.

I went to the library today on a mission. I've decided to commit to a project this summer. I will read my way through the 100 best novels, as decided by these guys. I'm gonna blog about it! But I'm starting a new blog for that, and keeping this one for my random rambling nonsense posts.

If you want to read along with me, or know anyone who does, check out

www.flyingbookshelf.blogspot.com.

K, I gotta go read now. Bye.

Technology Rocks.

I had a Droid Eris for about a year before I skipped to the bowling alley one night and dropped it without noticing... needless to say, by the time I realized I was missing the phone, it was long gone. So I've had to use my old enV Touch, which is a great phone, but it's not the smart phone I'd been using. It's been a depressing few months with the older phone.

HOORAY!!! Today I was finally eligible for an upgrade on my account! I got (for FREEEEEE!) a brand new Samsung Fascinate. I love this phone. It's got a big pretty screen and lots of great features. I'm so happy to be connected again! Email, Facebook and Pandora are all at my fingertips once more!

I tried to be satisfied with the knowledge that I wasn't as addicted to my phone as everyone else, that I could be partially unplugged and still be happy... but I won't lie, I love to be constantly in the digital loop, and I missed having a smart phone. It's such a handy tool for people like me... Arguing with a buddy about the origins of a particular brand of rum? SMART PHONE! Need directions to a restaurant downtown? SMART PHONE! Need to be endlessly entertained by slingshotting little birds into pigs? SMART PHONE!

Yes, life is good today. I have a new toy. But what should I name it?

I went to a rave.

For those of you who don't know what "dubstep" is.... imagine a band of robots playing hard rock... without the instruments. My boyfriend absolutely loves this music. One dubstep DJ in particular, Rusko, played at a venue downtown last night which Sully and I attended.

People do a lot of drugs at these kinds of shows.

They dance like maniacs and wear outrageous outfits while they hold glowsticks and stare at the flashing lights on the stage and suck on lollipops. It's actually a whole lot of fun to watch them. They don't really care if anyone is paying attention to them, or they assume everyone is watching them because what they're doing is amazing and perfect... either way it's a free ticket to judge people openly. Don't get me wrong, it's all love and happiness and dancing in the air, not the kind of place a big fight would break out (maybe just a dance off), and it's definitely not a negative atmosphere. But looking around at all the people so obviously under the influence of various substances makes one giggle a bit.

So there I was, in the middle of a very large, dark room packed with sweaty, shirtless guys and girls in knee socks dancing with glowsticks while the bass from the speakers literally shakes the floor, and as the hundreds of drugged up people jump and sway to the beat, the floor heaves under my feet and feels like its about to crumble... Sully and I nursed a few beers in the back while the show got started. Then we met up with friends and followed them into the heart of the swaying crowd.

At first, I was a little uncomfortable. I didn't know what to do with my hands, and I couldn't really see the stage, so I didn't know where to look. Then I started to sway with the crowd, and I felt the music pounding in my chest and I followed the rises and drops in tune with my body. I was sober as could be, but I was dancing as intensely as the shirtless guys around us.

There's just something about live music that makes people unite. Even if the genre isn't our favorite, when we're surrounded by fans and immersed in the performance atmosphere, we let loose. People headbang, fist pump, thrash dance to live music. We go crazy for our favorite bands. There's nothing better than that memory of your favorite concert, when your favorite band played your favorite song and it was awesome. So last night, even though I normally get a headache from that kind of music, I was completely lost in the moment and enjoying every second of it. Never pass up the opportunity to weave your way through a crowd full of happy, hyper, dancing people and dodge flying beach balls and glowsticks swinging from strings. It's a jolly good time.

As for me, I just crossed something off my bucket list, and it was just as awesome as I hoped it would be.